I got a wonderful wake up call today that made my day. The day has been ok, kind of boring. I went to the pool for an hour before it started to pour. had lunch by myself and have been online ever since. I was able to talk to him not long ago, which feels awesome. I still get this little twinge of wanting to bust of crying when he has to get off the phone and all i want to do is scream out "no dont go yet" but i cant do that. I have a feeling weekends are going to be very lonely. So far i have had zero motivation to start anything on any of my lists. I know i need to just get in and do it but i just cant bring myself to do it. I have no appetite and all i want to do is lay in bed. How long does this last? How long is it going to take me to bounce back from this? I just want to get busy and stay busy so this year will pass. I know its only been 3 days but it feels like forever. i miss him so much. im ok until there comes a point where i would normally text him or call him to see what he is doing or to tell him something and then i realize "oh wait, i cant"
Im thinking about setting daily goals to and not just "mile markers". I had some set for today but i cant put the computer down. I was going to shred Joes bills that he needed shredded, start washing some of his civilian clothes that are dirty and start to pack his clothes in the tough box and then settle in for movie night with myself. so far i have just settled in... Tomorrow is fathers day, so at least i will be preoccupied with family. Monday I have to mail his direct tv box and pick up customs forms to mail some more of his stuff.
I know that this deployment will make us stronger and believe me I have so much more appreciation for him and for all the other miliitary wives out there that are doing this or have done this. For those of you that survived deployment, hats off to you, you ARE amazing women. Especially my bestie, Mel, she has been so wonderful and supportive and its partly because of her that I feel like im strong enough to do this. Thank you for encouraging me and staying positive (and that goes to everyone that has been positive... stacy, sarita, erica, june, etc.. to manny of you guys to name but you know who you are) I know that if you guys can do this so can I. And mostly Joe believes in us and me and he knows that everything will be ok. Im so thankful for him. I love him more than anything in the world.
Hurry up year.... lets get moving!
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