Day 5-7 June 21-23, 2010

I survived the weekend and headed back to work on Monday. He is finally there and safe and we have started to begin a routine somewhat. I was a little down on Monday but that was normal. Tuesday though was a different story. We talked on my way to work (he was close to getting off of work at this time) and when we got off the phone, i thought back and it felt like i was rushing, but it was just because of the delay in the connection. I was kinda upset that our phone calls are short, but thats just how it is. I cant change that and im sure the longer he is there the longer our conversations will get. I have to remember he works all day, works out twice a day, and is still getting used to the time difference and catching up on sleep. Im new to the whole military thing and its easy to forget he works long hours and is exhausted. Tuesday for me was one of those "im just going to cry it out" days. And i did. Someone at work talked to me about it and asked what was so hard about this? I asked myself that before he deployed. I thought well we already do long distance, this will be easier for me since we already have practice in that area. WRONG! Even though our entire relationship has been long distance, this is just as hard as if we had lived together. We were comfortable in a routine. We could text anytime to feel connected, we could call just to say we saw something funny. We could say I cant wait to see you on Friday. and then when those weekends got here i would gripe about the dirve and now i would give anything to gripe about the drive if i knew he was at the end of it. I explained how hard it was to go from seeing him, talking to him, and communicating with him to getting a 42 second phone call and then having to wait another 10-12 hours to get a 2 mintue phone call and then to talk online and not get to hear his voice. He understood after I explained it to him. he also reminded me that God is going to take care of both of us and God is using this in our lives to make us stronger and to make us closer to each other but also closer to Him. Sometimes its easy to forget that God will never give us more that we can bear, even though it seems like if "one more thing" goes wrong or gets added to our cart that we will just collapse and not make it. God wont do that to us. We have to put it in his hands and trust that no matter what we will make it.

Wednesday came and I was just in such a good mood. I didnt know why until i realized that today was WEDNESDAY! it had been exactly a week since i watched him walk away, since the last kiss, since the last hug and hand holding. and I was ecstatic! I have survived a whole week and it didnt even feel like a week has gone by. It felt like a long 3 days, but this week flew. I am so happy that i made it a week! I realized that in one more week will be my first "date marker". Eclipse will come out next week and its something i have to look forward to and be excited about. My next marker after that is Erins baby! Which is actually pretty good, because they have a due date but the baby could come early or later than that, so its like a surprise, then is mels graduation and then FOOTBALL! I spoke with him today twice and chatted online. he gave a list of things he wants and ive been researching them online. Thats a time-taker-upper. I can ship him things online as long as they will ship to an APO so i research that and then i research the item and get prices.

Also, I ordered my flat rate boxes today! Im getting really pumped about my care packages, although decorating them has been shot down by the hubby. Even though i still might do it a little just not on as big of a scale. Im also wanting to make a scrap book of "our first Deployment" so thats a task i can add to my list! Im just feeling so much better about this deployment. I will feel alot more better when he receives his boxes with his webcam in it and we can have our first webcam date :)
I knew i would feel better once we got on a little bit of a routine. He calls when i am on my way to work (he is about to get off) then we IM before he goes to bed (my lunchtime) then he calls before I go to bed (hes at breakfast).Sure our phone calls arent very long but i just like to hear his voice adn he sounds upbeat and that makes me feel upbeat. I miss him like crazy and even though im feeling really positive right now, i wont lie, there are moments in my day, where i get down, i frown and tear up looking at our pictures. but then i think ill get to talk to him soon. Those are the moments i just email him and tell him how much i love him, it makes me feel connected and i know he will see it and it wil make him smile.

I really appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers. It has meant so much to both of us that people support us and him especially. My family and friends have been awesome and I love them so much!

I love you joseph!